Oakland Raiders of Los Angeles

My guy friends always ask me for hints on how they can short circuit women’s screening processes in order to get in their pants. Unfortunately, I’m not the best gal to ask because my test is simply this:

“Are you a Raiders fan?”

If they say “Hell no,” then it’s on.

A “Hell yeah!” results in my legs shutting quicker than a bear trap.

It’s something about the Black Hole and Raider Nation that just screams trouble. And I know I am generalizing but I’ve never once  met a nice, intelligent, card carrying, face painting, spike wearing member of the Raider Nation.

So sorry (haha) to report that it’s likely going to be another year of misery for you meat heads. If that undersized cap on his big, bulbous head hasn’t cut off all the circulation to his brain, Art Shell should use whatever football smarts he has left and start Andrew Walter who is smart and has a good arm. They should have stayed away from Aaron Brooks and named Walter the starting QB when they let Kerry Collins go.

The defense is supposedly good, they do have Randy Moss, LaMont Jordan, and they did go undefeated in the playoffs so maybe I should consider them a bit more seriously…

Okay, how’s this: they might be the better team in the Bay Area, which isn’t saying a whole lot.

[Credit where credit is due: Al Davis was a genius back in the day and a pioneer in the league. That's it.]